I Told the Narcissist to Leave and Don't Come Back!
After the narcissist got well enough to drive, and even to get the ladder and take the Christmas lights down on the house, I began to wonder why he was still sleeping in my office if he could climb up a ladder numerous times to get the lights down! I needed my office back! I had been working out of a space that was the size of a small closet, and it was hurting my work productivity. I was the one paying all of the bills, and I couldn't afford to lose my job.
I started to question him about the things he was telling me about his ex wives and girlfriends, why he was so overly protective of his phone, and why he was still sleeping in my office when it was obvious that he could walk up the stairs! He didn't know how to answer me, so he tried to gaslight me and act like I was crazy. He told me that he never said any of those things, and I'm just insane! Then he got enraged. At that point I left the house!
When I got home he told me that he was going to leave in a few months anyway, so I didn't need to worry about any of the crap I was questioning him about! At that point I said, "No, you aren't going to leave in a few months! You're going to leave now!" His eyes got huge. His face got red, he doubled up his fist, and I thought he was going to hit me. Then he stepped back. He yelled, "You want me to leave NOW?" I told him I did. This is not how I choose to live my life. I wanted my dignity and self respect and confidence back. He had no right to steal those things from me!
The next day was a Saturday. He packed a few things and told me he would be back to get the rest of his things on Sunday. I should have known how this was going to play out. Sunday he came back with all of his children and his grown grandchildren. Not one of them would look at me or talk to me! Oh the lies he must have been telling them! I don't know why I should have been surprised. That's what narcissists do. They tell lies and make it look like it was the fault of the person THEY were mistreating!
Every day after he left he was calling me and telling me that he forgot something. This went on for three weeks. I couldn't take it anymore. At least when he was here he was paying for some groceries and toiletries. Now I had no money to eat or put gas in my car. I had to pay for a new vacuum because he took the one we had. I had to pay for new water filter cartridges, etc. I didn't have the money. I just felt so betrayed. I didn't want to see him ever again, and here he was coming back all of the time. Every time I saw him it made me sick!
I had been reading about narcissists a lot. One of the things that I found out is that because they crave attention and being in the spotlight so much, that if you go "No Contact" with them, they you take away what they wanted from you. The next time he called I did exactly that. He asked me to find something for him, which I did. I told him that it would be in the chair on the back porch. I didn't open the door, look out the window or anything. I think my message to him must have been pretty clear, because he hasn't come back at all, called me or anything. At this point, I know I can finally move on with my life after doing some healing.
Lesson Learned: A narcissist will keep trying to manipulate you until YOU make it stop.
#NarcissistsAreLiars,#NarcissistsAreManipulators, #NoContact, #LiveWithDonna, #ThePhoenixRisingWoman, #PhoenixRisingWoman
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