Maybe I Made the Wrong Decision
I finally made the decision to stay with my husband for our "Little Man's" sake. I wasn't at all sure that I was making the right decision. It seemed that no matter what I did, he always seemed to turn it into something negative. There was no pleasing the man, so I just quit trying. I began living my life for my "Little Man", and looking forward to doing things with my parents.
Since I didn't have a job, every time I would ask my husband for anything other than food, he would tell me to find a way to make my own money. He was busy paying for "HIS" farm! It was no longer our farm. I'm not even sure he considered us both as our "Little Man's" parents. I decided to start selling things on eBay. I got quite good at it, and even became an eBay Power Seller. Then my husband started telling me that I needed to use all of my money on groceries and to pay bills.
Every time I would try to teach our "Little Man" something, or he needed correction, my husband would tell him to do something else and strip me of all authority. I kept trying to tell myself that since there were only 3 children in the family I grew up in, and 14 in in my husband's; maybe he just saw things differently because the rules couldn't be enforced as well with 14 children in the household. That's what I kept telling myself anyway. Deep down I knew that wasn't the real issue. He even told me that love had to be earned! I always heard it was respect. I was taught that love was given freely.
I began to realize that he didn't care about anything I wanted out of my life. All he really cared about was what I could do for him and how I could make him feel. He would act totally disrespectful to me in front of our "Little Man", and when friends or other extended family were around he turned into a different person! I was not going to let this man belittle me, whatever it took. I started to stand up for myself and what I wanted out of life. This made him furious! That was when he started planning things to try to make me look bad in front of other people. When he knew we were going to have company, he would deliberately belittle me and start an argument to get me very upset just before they came. The only thing everyone saw when they would visit was me being upset. If they asked him, he would make it out as if he didn't know, and say, "I don't know what's wrong with her! She just started acting crazy all the time!"
As our "Little Man" began to grow and was in his toddler years, I started noticing that I wasn't feeling well. What was wrong with me? I also began to have headaches, depression, mood swings, aches and pains all over my body, digestive issues, and I got to the point where I literally could barely walk anymore. It was as if some alien force had sucked all of the life and vitality out of my body and took my personality with it too! I'm sure stress played a big part, but there was something else going on.
At this point, I really began to get worried about what was happening to me. I didn't know what else to do, so I went to my family doctor. I told him that I believed I had been exposed to depleted uranium, and who knows what else! I told him I needed to find a way to clean up my body! His solution? "Here, take this antidepressant, it will help you feel better. I can also give you a muscle relaxer. And by the way" he said, "You really should think about having a mammogram done." WHAT? As if being exposed to high amounts of radiation wasn't enough, I should go expose myself to more?
I still get postcards from the medical screening program for people who were construction, production or technical workers at this super fund site. The fact is, the doctors were unable to tell me what I could do to help myself, so this program is not very useful to me, "in my opinion." Here is the latest postcard.
Needless to say, this was when I decided to take matters into my own hands to help not only myself, but my son! My parents had been very health conscious the entire time I was growing up. Every morning at breakfast, my mother would give me a handful of supplements to help keep me healthy. I began to think that maybe she actually was onto something, and so I began my research into alternative health and wellness.
I found out that there were all sorts of toxins that we were all being exposed to on a daily basis. I also found out that these toxins are passed from parents to children. So, not only were children being exposed to their own toxic burdens in their bodies, but they also had a store of them from their parents. That really scared me when I started thinking about my son, who had been exposed to so many toxins when I was pregnant with him.
I also began to realize that the best supplements on the market DID NOT come from the local department stores or drug stores. These supplements were cheaply made of inferior ingredients, and were battling with each other as far as who could cut the costs the most. In fact, in studies, these were found to to be so weak, that you would have to take 20 capsules to equal a couple capsules of the costlier capsules that were more potent. Most of the cheap supplements also contained dangerous fillers!
And for these exact reasons, is why I began my journey as a network marketer when my son was a baby. First as a customer.......yes, like many other people in network marketing, I got started because of the products; but then I realized that there were other people out there who had no clue about these issues, just as I hadn't previously. I needed to teach them, and help enlighten them and the rest of the world about these toxins we were being exposed to, the lies that were being told, and also about the reason that some people believed that dietary supplements don't work. A lot of them didn't, but that was because of their poor quality!
I started selling a colostrum supplement from New Zealand, and also some detox and herbal supplements from a company that featured some great detox and cleansing products. No, I couldn't just go to the drugstore and buy stuff of this quality!
I was able to stay home with my son until he was in kindergarten because of network marketing and selling antiques and collectibles on Ebay. I made a pretty decent living. Of course, the internet was relatively new then. We didn't have social media sites like Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. What could I have done back then with that?
From there, I got into the bottled "everything" juices like, aloe vera, mangosteen etc., and I also became a certified herbalist, detox specialist, and iridologist. I discovered the ionic cleanse foot detox machines that pulled toxins from the body through the soles of the feet! This was exactly what I had been looking for! I spent a lot of money on that first machine, but it was worth it! I used it on myself and my son, who was about 8 years old at the time. He had a lot of issues with attention deficit, and hyperactivity, which I blamed largely on the toxins he had been exposed to.
I have never once been sorry that I followed the path of nature and got involved in the health and wellness industry, because I believe that this decision has helped my son and I to regain our health. I have however, as a result of my researching and testing, had many battles with allopathic physicians, my sister who is a medical assistant, and other similar people, over toxins, drugs that deplete nutrients etc. (That's a whole story in itself that I will tell in future posts.)
I studied a lot and then took some private classes from some top rated private schools. I started my own consulting business as a local certified herbalist. My husband wasn't happy about that. It seemed that he didn't want me helping anyone except him, but he did not see the need to reciprocate much.
Lesson Learned: Sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands!
#ItsMyCall, #IWillFixItMyself, #LIVEWithDonna, #ThePhoenixRisingWoman
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