We're Going To Have a WHAT?
My husband and I had been married for 5 years. It wasn't all roses, and we had our ups and downs, but life was still pretty good. It was good, except for the fact that I had started having aches and pains in my stomach. I kept feeling like I was bloated and I kept feeling nauseous. I was telling one of the girls at the office about it and she just laughed. Then she looked at me and said, "Honey, I think you're pregnant! You have all of the symptoms." This thought had never occurred to me. The last time I had a baby I was 17 years old, and I was now 34! Oh my goodness, what if it was true? What if I was pregnant? What would my husband say? Oh, if that was the case he wasn't going to like it! Both of his children were grown, my daughter was 17 years old now and almost grown; and we had a grandchild already too!
The first thing I did when I got off work was go to the store and buy a box of pregnancy test kits. I bought the six pack. When I got home, I always had to pee after that long drive, so I decided to test. I know it says to wait until morning, but I just had to know. I did the first test and it came back with the line, which meant POSITIVE! Oh no! Oh no! Maybe it was wrong. I wanted another child and I had been talking to my husban about it for the past 5 years, but he was totally against it. I hid the first test under some things in a drawer in the bathroom. Maybe the one in the morning would say something different. It was probably just because I did the test in the evening and the instructions say first thing in the morning, right?
Well, I tossed and turned all night. I couldn't stop thinking about that test that showed positive! I think I may have slept off and on for about 2 hours, but boy was it going to be a long drive to work and back on 2 broken hours of sleep. The next morning I got up with my husband, made his breakfast and he left for work. I immediately went into the bathroom and took the next pregnancy test. It too said POSITIVE! Oh no! Oh no! My husband was going to be so mad! I went to work and told my sister. She said, "Well, lots of things can cause a false reading. Go to the doctor and have them confirm it. It might be nothing." Boy did I hope she was right!
That night after dinner I asked my husband to to sit down. I told him that I had something important to discuss with him. I just couldn't keep it to myself any longer. I told him about the pregnancy tests. His eyes got wide and his face got red. I thought he was going to blow a gasket! Then he just stared at me for an agonizingly long time! Finally he said, "We can't have a baby! My kids are grown, and we have 2 grandchildren already (my step daughter recently had a baby boy), and I don't want another baby! I'm getting too old for that!" I understood why he was saying that, but it hurt me deeply just the same. I would be 35 when the baby was born, and he would be 48. I started crying. He made it sound like I had done something evil and vindictive on purpose! So, I retorted, "Well fine! If you don't want OUR baby, then I do! I'll just leave with MY daughter and find another place to live! I will take care of the baby myself! I'm certainly not going to do anything to harm it if that's what you're suggesting! No child should be where it isn't wanted anyway!" I was hysterical by this time.
After what seemed like an eternity my husband said, "Okay look, make an appointment and go to the doctor and see what they say. Maybe we can't trust those stupid drugstore tests." I agreed with him and said I would make the appointment tomorrow. I kept wondering how in the world I would do this by myself if I was pregnant? I didn't think my daughter would be much help. A bad situation had arisen between her and I, as sometimes happens with teenage girls and their mothers.
I made the doctor's appointment for a few days later, and my sister went with me. The doctor confirmed it, yes I was indeed pregnant! Oh no! Oh no! I wasn't looking forward to going home and telling my husband the news. When I got home I told him what the doctor said. He just turned, walked outside and disappeared. I didn't see him until it was time to go to bed. Neither of us spoke a word.
Over the next few weeks they told me that I needed to have an Amniocentesis Test done. That was because of my husband's age, and to check for down syndrome. They would also be able to tell us our child's sex.
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I was so distressed by everything, and didn't know what else to do except pray. God definitely seemed to hear my prayers. One night before I had the testing done I had a dream. I dreamed that I was walking outside in a meadow through very green grass and beautiful trees all around me. As I was walking, a little boy about 2 years old grabbed my hand. When I looked down and there was a little blonde boy with blue eyes and the brightest smile I had ever seen. He smiled and said, "Mommy, it will be okay." I woke up, sat bolt upright in bed and woke my husband up. I told him that I had just met our son! He came to me in a dream to comfort me. I told him that our son was going to have blonde hair and blue eyes, and a smile that would melt everybody's heart! Now I was getting excited in spite of how my husband kept treating me.
Lesson Learned: Just because someone else thinks something is bad, it doesn't mean that it is.
#ABundleOfJoy, #UnhappyHusband, #ShatteredWife, #LiveWithDonna, #ItWillBeOkay #ThePhoenixRisingWoman
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