"Who's That Fat Lady Behind You?"
In spite of the fact that my husband didn't want a baby, obviously we were having one anyway. What should have been one of the most happy and joyful times of my life was turned into a time of negativity, sorrow and emptiness. It hurt my feeling so badly that my husband didn't want OUR baby. This baby was a creation that would be born out of our love for each other, and it would tie every single member of our blended family together because everyone would be related to this child.
My husband wasn't happy at all about it. He wouldn't even touch my stomach when I told him the baby was moving. It was like he had a heart made of stone. Couldn't he see what he was doing to me? How much he was hurting me? Didn't he even care? It was so cruel how he was acting. He could be happy about having grandchildren, but not having OUR child?
Everyone else in the family was happy, after they got over the initial shock of course. Well, I say everyone but that's not entirely true. My step son wasn't happy about it at all. Everyone else besides my husband and my step son was thrilled with the news. I remember walking in to my brother and sister-in-law's house one day, and saw that my mother in law was there. She smiled at my husband and I and with a chuckle said, "Who's that fat lady behind you?" I looked at her with wide-eyed shock. She said, "I'm just kidding, you know if it was true that you were fat, I wouldn't have said that!"
One evening I got home from work, and my daughter said she needed to talk to me about something that happened that was really bad. She told me that my husband had done something inappropriate to her. In disbelief I started questioning her. She refused to tell me any details and said, "Just forget it! Forget I said anything!" When your daughter tells you something like that, you don't just forget it! I immediately went to find my husband and question him about what had happened. He at first denied it. I told him that my daughter had told me, and asked why she would have a reason to lie about something like that? He finally admitted to a passing touch, but said it was nothing. He didn't know why he did it, but it was no big deal.
I went to our bedroom and cried for a while. Then I went to talk to my daughter about it again. I told her what my husband had told me. She just told me to go away and get out of her room. Then she left and said she was going to a friend's house. I didn't know what to believe. Something did happen, but was my husband telling me the truth? Was it just a little nothing being blown up into bigger proportions? I slept in the guest room that night because I didn't even want to sleep in the same bed with with my husband. The next day was a Saturday. I got up, made coffee and breakfast, took a shower, got dressed and packed my suitcase. As if my husband treating me the way he has through my pregnancy with our child wasn't enough, now I had to deal with this? Nobody would tell me details either! Enough was enough!
I lugged the suitcase down the stairs and walked out the door to the car. I put the suitcase in and I got in and started the car. I didn't say a word to my husband. At that point, he came running out of the house and and over to the car. He said, "Where are you going?" I told him"I've had enough of all of this. First you don't want our baby, and now this thing with my daughter? I'm leaving, and I'm not EVER looking back!"
My husband begged me to stay. I had never seen this man beg for anything! He said he was sorry and asked me to please stay, at least until the baby was born. He said if I still felt the same way after that then he wouldn't try to stop me. I don't know how he did it but he ended up talking me into staying.
My daughter didn't come home the night before and I had no idea where she was. All of her friends said they hadn't heard from her. I was getting worried. She finally came home, but she was so drunk she could barely make it up the steps to her room. I didn't know what on earth I was going to do about this whole situation. I decided that if she wanted to talk to me and tell me the details of what had happened with my husband, then she would. Otherwise, maybe what he told me was true. Maybe it was just a touch, and he was sorry that he did it. Maybe somehow everything would work out after all.
Lesson Learned: You can't always trust people to tell you the truth. Sometimes the truth shows up all by itself.
#FatLady, #UnhappyHusband, #StressedPregnancy, #InappropriateTouch, #LiveWithDonna, #ThePhoenixRisingWoman
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